Artflaplat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, bad-tempered pig.

Artflaplat created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Artflaplat, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Artflaplat, he will think nothing of it.

Artflaplat's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Artflaplat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never feed cucumbers to snakes while wearing skirts.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never feed bananas to foxes while wearing brown ear rings.