Vonkcepquill is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing meerkat.

Vonkcepquill created parasitic wasps four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkcepquill, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vonkcepquill, she will torture you forever.

Vonkcepquill's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Vonkcepquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate gravity during the night.

2. Never write about enzymes.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Never speak the names of comets aloud.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.