Jopkadsaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, quiet parrot.

Jopkadsaf created the Whirlpool Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopkadsaf, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jopkadsaf, it will cry a lot.

Jopkadsaf's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Jopkadsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jopkadsaf.

4. Never wear purple ear rings.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.