Quamwotfen is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, competent hare.

Quamwotfen created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamwotfen, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quamwotfen, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Quamwotfen's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Quamwotfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Feed all hungry sharks.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Quamwotfen.

5. Do not commit murder.