Quamtettifab is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, vain mole.

Quamtettifab created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamtettifab, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quamtettifab, it will be mildly annoyed.

Quamtettifab's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Quamtettifab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near shrews while wearing orange ear rings and balancing three aluminium spheres on your hands.