Poptom Tonklanlak is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, pitiless toad.

Poptom Tonklanlak created Mount Everest six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Poptom Tonklanlak, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Poptom Tonklanlak, he will turn you into a puffin.

Poptom Tonklanlak's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Poptom Tonklanlak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cats.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Poptom Tonklanlak.

3. Never think ill of sick goats.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never look at moons.