Tiklinstrag is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, tiresome otter.

Tiklinstrag created a charm quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tiklinstrag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tiklinstrag, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tiklinstrag's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Tiklinstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Retreat if eight turtles approach from the west.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.