Zedcembodxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, charitable shrew.

Zedcembodxuc created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Zedcembodxuc, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zedcembodxuc, he will turn you into a dog.

Zedcembodxuc's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Zedcembodxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zedcembodxuc.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

3. Zedcembodxuc loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

4. Worship no other gods but Zedcembodxuc.

5. Do not speak about garlic.