Afsadhitlanyart Gigmapquill is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, witless hare.

Afsadhitlanyart Gigmapquill created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Afsadhitlanyart Gigmapquill, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Afsadhitlanyart Gigmapquill, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Afsadhitlanyart Gigmapquill's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Afsadhitlanyart Gigmapquill's Holy Commandments

1. Put Afsadhitlanyart Gigmapquill first in all things.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.