Quilldambarn is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, omnipotent wasp.

Quilldambarn created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quilldambarn, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quilldambarn, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Quilldambarn's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Quilldambarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five ducks in a large pit.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Always help sick otters.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Quilldambarn.