Arnyokquag is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, awe-inspiring squirrel.

Arnyokquag created time and space seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Arnyokquag, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arnyokquag, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Arnyokquag's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Arnyokquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always help sharks.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

5. Do not name children after snakes.