Likstannutt is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, witless narwhal.

Likstannutt created oxygen six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Likstannutt, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Likstannutt, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Likstannutt's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Likstannutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your back toward the north during prayer.

2. Always remove kilts before entering holy places.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Likstannutt.

4. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Likstannutt loves great tits, so they must be respected.