Jambatbessfobbidgubbun is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, competent goat.

Jambatbessfobbidgubbun created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jambatbessfobbidgubbun, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jambatbessfobbidgubbun, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jambatbessfobbidgubbun's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Jambatbessfobbidgubbun's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Jambatbessfobbidgubbun.

2. Always help mites.

3. Erect a giant black sculpture of Jambatbessfobbidgubbun in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never hop near swans.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.