Tarpfomsomnurtbembancum is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, moody ferret.

Tarpfomsomnurtbembancum created an atom three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpfomsomnurtbembancum, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tarpfomsomnurtbembancum, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tarpfomsomnurtbembancum's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Tarpfomsomnurtbembancum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Never allow grasshopers to sleep beneath your roof.

4. You must love Tarpfomsomnurtbembancum.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.