Badloplin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, stupid cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Badloplin created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Badloplin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Badloplin, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Badloplin's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Badloplin's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not keep four foxes in a large pit.

3. Do not record numbers concerning stars.

4. Never fashion tools from wood.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Badloplin.