Hivcitcebtiffutcarnathas is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, sage hedgehog.

Hivcitcebtiffutcarnathas created a strange quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivcitcebtiffutcarnathas, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hivcitcebtiffutcarnathas, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hivcitcebtiffutcarnathas' most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Hivcitcebtiffutcarnathas' Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never think ill of sick bats.

3. Never talk about dark matter near horses while wearing brown kilts.

4. Never hop near manatees.

5. Never look in ponds.