Rilhotnak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, grumpy hamster.

Rilhotnak created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilhotnak, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Rilhotnak, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Rilhotnak's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Rilhotnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near seals while wearing white trousers and balancing four aluminium spheres on your legs.

2. Do not kill foxes.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Do not commit murder.