Fidquagjop is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, temperamental mink.

Fidquagjop created matter two years ago.

If you believe in Fidquagjop, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fidquagjop, she will turn you into a plant.

Fidquagjop's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Fidquagjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare pineapples during spring.

2. Always maintain patience during holy days.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.