Quammotyarl Jennargen is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, ruthless fish.

Quammotyarl Jennargen created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quammotyarl Jennargen, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quammotyarl Jennargen, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Quammotyarl Jennargen's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Quammotyarl Jennargen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Never think ill of sick shrews.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never run in holy places.