Lagwatsom is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, slow hummingbird.

Lagwatsom created the Black Eye Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagwatsom, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Lagwatsom, she will turn you into a frog.

Lagwatsom's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Lagwatsom's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lagwatsom.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.