Tigyikrillmif Femontlat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, generous parrot.

Tigyikrillmif Femontlat created light six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigyikrillmif Femontlat, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tigyikrillmif Femontlat, she will come to you in dreams.

Tigyikrillmif Femontlat's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Tigyikrillmif Femontlat's Holy Commandments

1. Doves are not to be trusted.

2. Do not sprint in public.

3. Retreat if three pigs approach from the north.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never hurt badgers.