Narlstafhomhat is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, benevolent bird.

Narlstafhomhat created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Narlstafhomhat, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Narlstafhomhat, he will turn you into a sheep.

Narlstafhomhat's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Narlstafhomhat's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near swans while wearing cyan boots and balancing six platinum spheres on your face.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not kill dogs.