Yarptettibeg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, contented fairy.

Yarptettibeg created an atom two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarptettibeg, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yarptettibeg, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yarptettibeg's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yarptettibeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Always help birds in need.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not commit murder.