Milhasgep Tamhamjap is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, stupid bat.

Milhasgep Tamhamjap created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Milhasgep Tamhamjap, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Milhasgep Tamhamjap, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Milhasgep Tamhamjap's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Milhasgep Tamhamjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to moths while wearing hats.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never talk about swans.

4. Always help ducks in need.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Milhasgep Tamhamjap.