Met Kopbafbed is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, omnipotent frog.

Met Kopbafbed created carbon two years ago.

If you believe in Met Kopbafbed, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Met Kopbafbed, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Met Kopbafbed's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Met Kopbafbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to foxes while wearing jumpers.

2. You must love Met Kopbafbed.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Met Kopbafbed.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near moths while wearing purple skirts and balancing six copper spheres on your feet.