Dubbeggonyok Ranpark is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, tiresome centipede.

Dubbeggonyok Ranpark created vertebrates three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dubbeggonyok Ranpark, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dubbeggonyok Ranpark, he will make you grow a tail.

Dubbeggonyok Ranpark's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Dubbeggonyok Ranpark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not leap in public.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near birds while wearing indigo hats.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dubbeggonyok Ranpark.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Dubbeggonyok Ranpark must be the most important thing in your life.