Hatjamhugyartken is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, humane toad.

Hatjamhugyartken created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatjamhugyartken, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hatjamhugyartken, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Hatjamhugyartken's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Hatjamhugyartken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never write about electromagnetism.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hatjamhugyartken.

4. Heed all portents.

5. Always wear green.