Bidhudlakrawcen Weglarngep is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, calm aardvark.

Bidhudlakrawcen Weglarngep created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidhudlakrawcen Weglarngep, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bidhudlakrawcen Weglarngep, he will turn you into a tree.

Bidhudlakrawcen Weglarngep's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bidhudlakrawcen Weglarngep's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.