Ominnutfly is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, impressive troll.

Ominnutfly created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ominnutfly, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ominnutfly, it will be very unhappy.

Ominnutfly's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Ominnutfly's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise hamsters, for they are unholy.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Ominnutfly in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never think about optics near snails while wearing violet boots and balancing six platinum spheres on your hands.

5. Do not covet oxen.