Bemgudbemkanhog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, intelligent giraffe.

Bemgudbemkanhog created everything that exists nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemgudbemkanhog, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bemgudbemkanhog, she will turn you into a mole.

Bemgudbemkanhog's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Bemgudbemkanhog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Run away from indigo shrews, for they are unholy.

5. Never wear fawn coats.