Flagvenvenfotfutsas is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, able gerbil.

Flagvenvenfotfutsas created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Flagvenvenfotfutsas, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flagvenvenfotfutsas, he will send you a sign.

Flagvenvenfotfutsas' most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Flagvenvenfotfutsas' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about foxes.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not make images of living things.