Veenkonvad is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, narcissistic dingo.

Veenkonvad created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenkonvad, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Veenkonvad, it will boil you in a big pot.

Veenkonvad's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Veenkonvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never paint your chest white.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peas.