Zodgepbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a large, omnipotent finch.

Zodgepbaf created Asia two million years ago.

If you believe in Zodgepbaf, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Zodgepbaf, he will come to you in dreams.

Zodgepbaf's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Zodgepbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near pigs while wearing purple tights.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Remain standing during prayer.

5. Never cross crossroads at midday.