Ripgumfit is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, flying cow.

Ripgumfit created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripgumfit, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ripgumfit, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Ripgumfit's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Ripgumfit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never eat limes.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Never prepare tomatoes during summer.

5. Always act with purity when addressing children.