Mumquillyat is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, intelligent human.

Mumquillyat created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Mumquillyat, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mumquillyat, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Mumquillyat's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Mumquillyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather seven goats near walls.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Respect your elders.