Fudquatgumrut is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, witless clam.

Fudquatgumrut created the Sombrero Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fudquatgumrut, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fudquatgumrut, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Fudquatgumrut's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Fudquatgumrut's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four aluminium sculptures of Fudquatgumrut on top of important buildings.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Run away if six grasshopers approach from the north.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not stand on grass.