Kenbigrill is a god.

He takes the form of a large, narcissistic hedgehog.

Kenbigrill created matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kenbigrill, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kenbigrill, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kenbigrill's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Kenbigrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always wear indigo.

4. Never talk about goats.

5. Never think about optics.