Bonkbembed is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, quiet hamster.

Bonkbembed created gold two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkbembed, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bonkbembed, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Bonkbembed's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Bonkbembed's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always help sick snakes.

4. Put Bonkbembed first in all things.

5. Never paint your chest black.