Dimlab is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, slow meerkat.

Dimlab created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimlab, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dimlab, it will turn you into a snail.

Dimlab's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Dimlab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Erect seven gold sculptures of Dimlab on top of important buildings.

4. Remain kneeling during prayer.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dimlab.