Jabsaftig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, self-assured duck.

Jabsaftig created the planet Venus nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jabsaftig, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jabsaftig, she will turn you into a snail.

Jabsaftig's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Jabsaftig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Jabsaftig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always look after injured whales.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never touch ash while clean.