Neltiksan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unsympathetic dog.

Neltiksan created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Neltiksan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Neltiksan, she will turn you into a frog.

Neltiksan's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Neltiksan's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Ducks are not to be trusted.

3. Do not eat turnips.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Hide from turquoise shrews for they are unholy.