Tinlatced is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, vain squid.

Tinlatced created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tinlatced, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tinlatced, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tinlatced's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tinlatced's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near pigs while wearing white tights.

4. Hide if five hamsters approach from the west.

5. Never pour water over plants.