Tabarnxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, vain armadillo.

Tabarnxuc created an atom seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabarnxuc, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tabarnxuc, she will not invite you to parties.

Tabarnxuc's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tabarnxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands mauve.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near hamsters while wearing magenta boots.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.