Jopdosswad is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unselfish chicken.

Jopdosswad created the planet Venus eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopdosswad, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jopdosswad, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Jopdosswad's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Jopdosswad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight mites approach from the east.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never run near manatees.

4. Erect six iron sculptures of Jopdosswad on top of important buildings.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.