Gig is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, generous cow.

Gig created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gig, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gig, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Gig's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gig's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bread.

2. Never feed beans to birds while wearing turquoise corsets.

3. Never wear pink jumpers on sacred days.

4. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.