Gupquafquaf is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, witty guinea pig.

Gupquafquaf created the planet Saturn eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupquafquaf, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gupquafquaf, he will send you a sign.

Gupquafquaf's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Gupquafquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

3. Feed all hungry turtles.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always obey Gupquafquaf's priests.