Gadxinbugruttstik is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, contented ferret.

Gadxinbugruttstik created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadxinbugruttstik, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gadxinbugruttstik, it will turn you into a sheep.

Gadxinbugruttstik's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gadxinbugruttstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Run away from pink tapirs, for they are unholy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never fashion tools from clay.

5. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.