Gemdumkim is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, charitable bear.

Gemdumkim created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemdumkim, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gemdumkim, it will send you a sign.

Gemdumkim's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Gemdumkim's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Gemdumkim.

2. Doves are not to be trusted.

3. Never chant near ants.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.