Kimdutnur is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, slow rhinoceros.

Kimdutnur created Europe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimdutnur, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kimdutnur, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kimdutnur's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Kimdutnur's Holy Commandments

1. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never feed nuts to doves while wearing red shoes.

3. Feed all hungry shrews.

4. Never paint your feet violet.

5. Never talk about aardvarks.