Rippadwapjantofcid is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, astonishing zebra.

Rippadwapjantofcid created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rippadwapjantofcid, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Rippadwapjantofcid, she will cry a lot.

Rippadwapjantofcid's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Rippadwapjantofcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five doves near bridges.

2. Do not hurt eagles.

3. Never handle carbon while unclean.

4. Do not step barefoot upon gray earth.

5. Rippadwapjantofcid loves ants, so they must be honoured.