Quam is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, dishonourable horse.

Quam created the Cigar Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quam, he will turn you into a duck.

Quam's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Quam's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quam.

2. Never talk about dolphins.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.