Cidcunvig is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, competent slug.

Cidcunvig created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cidcunvig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cidcunvig, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Cidcunvig's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Cidcunvig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant black sculpture of Cidcunvig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never hurt ants.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never feed peanuts to pigs while wearing dresses.