Vadtonkster is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, passionate wombat.

Vadtonkster created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadtonkster, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vadtonkster, she will turn you into a frog.

Vadtonkster's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Vadtonkster's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat carrots.

2. Do not gather at bridges at dusk.

3. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

5. Never hurt geese.