Bepyattquaf is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, loving porpoise.

Bepyattquaf created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepyattquaf, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bepyattquaf, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bepyattquaf's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bepyattquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bats.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

4. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never wear red hats.