Xuchapgod is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, kind bear.

Xuchapgod created energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuchapgod, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Xuchapgod, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Xuchapgod's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Xuchapgod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear trousers marked with green.

2. Always share lentils with strangers, but never with hamsters.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near foxes while wearing turquoise tights and balancing six tin spheres on your head.