Ganjopbarn is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, boastful wombat.

Ganjopbarn created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganjopbarn, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ganjopbarn, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ganjopbarn's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Ganjopbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

2. Pray only in darkness.

3. You must pray to Ganjopbarn eight times a day.

4. Never paint your arms violet.

5. Never talk about asteroids.